I began growing in 2018 when the CA legalization for recreational use went into effect. I had been using cannabis for decades, unaware that I was self-medicating for undiagnosed depression. All I knew was I felt way better when I smoked it.
Around 2005 I gave up weed in hopes of finding a better job. I was getting burned out badly working as a chef but the only jobs in my area thst paid as well required that you pee in a cup whenever they say to. I never got the better job, but my already heavier-than–healthy drinking went out of control. Turns out I gave up the wrong stuff…
Long story shorter, starting weed again helped me quit drinking but the damage was done. I ended up diabetic to the point I went blind from it. Weed has helped me with the emotional difficulties that come with disability, and once I learned the long and difficult way that sativas are not my friend it helped me with my anxiety as well. A few years back a friend turned me on to CBD in flower form (I had previously only tried worthless hemp derived oils) and now I grow it for my joint pain. Getting old kinda sucks but it beats the only known alternative…
I decided to learn to grow simply because I wanted a steady supply without having to scrounge trim or B’s from friends and cousins that grew. I had no idea how much I would come to enjoy it and how thereputic it wiuld end up becoming. When I am spending time in my patch taking care of my plants I feel happier than most other things (besides friends and family of course) can make me feel. Very peaceful and calm, unless I spot mildew… 
My first three years were abyssmal. My buddy who grew back in the day helped me at first, but it turned out he really wasn’t too good at it. I went out into the vast wilderness of the internet to find guidance, and through other forums found enough kernals of knowledge in the sea of poo to get my subsequent seasons to stesdily improve in yield and quality. My buddy still helps me with stuff like rides to the patch and the grow stores and such, but now he calls me The Mad Scientist every time I talk about something new I saw online that I want to try. He also helps me trim because I can’t see the mold. He doesn’t even smoke it anymore and won’t even let me buy him lunch for all his efforts. Friends like that are a rare commodity. I hope that kind of spirit takes hold here and stays.
I have been buying my seeds from Seedsman for a few years now. I am an indica dominant fan, although a mellower 50/50 is something I can enjoy. No sativas…
I do smoke some but I like a vaporizer for flavor so I tend to pick strains with high levels of loud terps. I like most flavors sweet or savory as long as they have some gas or chem tones. Not a fan of cheese but I do like the Cream and Cheese CBD strain just for the pain relief that I know is going to follow the funk.
Well, that’s my story in a nutshell (or is that a nut’s hell? ). More than I had planned on sharing but hey, we all got here on separate roads but I’m sure many shared experiences. We can empathize. Especially with a good indica.
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Wow you been through some stuff Im sorry about the loss of your eyes im glad your doing better now though and that cannibis helps ease your pain and anxiety. Thanks for sharing Hon. Hugs
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Thanks!
I had to learn to be thankful for what vision I still have and not dwell so much on what I have lost. Another thing weed helps with!
Plus friends and fam of course.
And dogs. Especially dogs.
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I have 4 dogs i love everyone of them even though they bring ticks home. Lol They help me heal each one has its on personality my Juju girl is a snack fiend and won’t leave ya alone till you give her one. My Cooper is a guard hunt dog stay out of territory. My Bowdie was a rescue someone shot he’s cattle dog with no cattle and poor gizmo he ain’t all there he really hates ups and fed ex I think he got hit by them hes been struck by car couple times. But they all 4 are my heart.
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I’m in a no-pets apartment, even though I probably could get one because of my eyes. I don’t have my own dog, but I do have everyone elses that I know. Or more accurate, they have me. It doesn’t take a dog much time at all to learn that I’m a sucker for the milk bone eyes and I’ll scratch them as long as they want and in all the best spots too! And if they look at the leash, well it’s go time…
Heck, who needs their own? I have 6 without the vet bills!
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Great way to look at it when mine are gone ill have to look at it that way to.
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Two that are in my life are 14 years or older. Hate thinking about it but it’s what it is.
Indica helps.
Yes it does. I’ve had several over the years cancer, cushions disease, old age, car the hardest part is letting go. I look at life differently now though since I researched. Every living thing on earth has energy…basically the force or gai whatever people want to call it but the force energy i believe is recycled into something or someone new. Plants animals all of it has energy. Energy Transformation: Physics confirms that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed. Upon death, the chemical energy (calories) and thermal energy (body heat) in a body disperses into the environment, becoming part of the ecosystem.
Makes me feel better to think this way
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Just got back from walking my parents’ dog Pearl. She’s 14 so walks kinda slow, but still wags fast!
Mom has a little magnet on the fridge that says “if only I could be half the person my dog thinks I am”. I try to live that motto.
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I truly resonate with the smoking to relieve depression and an array of mental health issues. The stigma that has been created over a plant that its horrible and people that use it are burnouts or what not really didnt help to alleviate some of the anxieties that come with being a “pothead.” I have finally had a breakthrough as far as weed is concerned and i no longer look at it as something i need to hide and stay quiet about. This community has helped me confirm this even more. I take meds on the daily and all that helps but the bud is what helps even me out and just like you, feel so much better. Your story is inspirational and I appreciate you for sharing
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Thanks.
I’m glad that with increasing legality (at least I hope the trend continues) weed is becoming more acceptable as more than just a drug to get high.
Sucks that depression and other mental issues still carry a stigma.
Do what you need to be on an even(ish) keel and ignore the haters.
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I would not just specify on a certain strain or cultivar but much more find how the plant finds you. I like an early late flower sativa smoke ! But I also love a late indica smoke as well. It depends on the lineage and if you harvest on the 50/50 with photos you should be good and with autos it has to be at your discretion, they seem to hold clear Forever
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That’s a great motto. It’s inspiring I need find me one.
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I don’t have a bad reaction to sativas every time. But, I have one often enough that I decided it just wasn’t worth messing with them anymore, there’s plenty of indica doms and balanced hybrids out there that I’ll likely never try them all, let alone grow them!
Some make me seriously jittery. I mix with indica if it does that calm me doen. But still be awake and take care of things. Im kinda learning what helps me and what don’t. So it’s working good.
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